Prom 2012


[For any of you that were wondering, Phebe made my dress again this year.]

Prom this year can be summed up in two words unforgettably remarkable.

My ‘escort’ (Because I am old fashioned like that) was my very good friend Ben. We did all the fun cool prom-like things like boutonnieres and corsages.

We posed for some pictures

And then my mom made me pose for some more.

Then we went out to eat at the Flaming Wok where Ben tried shrimp for the first time. (Yes. I was very excited.)

From there we were chauffeured in my Pop’s oh-so-elegantly-classy mini-van to the Catholic church. (Because where else would homeschoolers have a prom?)

After that, we danced the night away, and had a darn good time doing it.

It was a super awesome special night that will be hard to forget. (Hopefully I won’t get hit on the head by a rock and get amnesia.)

Ben, thanks for making prom so awesome!

The (rough draft) finished version


Seclusion

Dearest Akathartos,*

I am overjoyed to hear about your first assignment. This will be a season in which to learn strategy and observe the behaviors of the things ‘made in the image of God.’ This is the first and most critical of all the council with which I will present you: do not, in any way, create disarray of your current situation. The first patient is always a learning experience. You will, numerous times, experience great blunders and suffer greatly for them. So long as you are completely aware of this and you are ready to take responsibility for your stupidity, I am fairly certain you will come out nearly unscathed. Your initial assignment is one that holds great possibilities. The sons and daughters of those in ministry have abounding amounts of potential, though one miniscule indiscretion on your part and they could be eternally rooted to the path of our foe.

Let us take a minute to discuss the prospects of the circumstance in which you presently find yourself. The human to whom you have been assigned is the daughter of two ministering people. She can easily be persuaded that her parents’ ministry is strictly that of her parents. They have been given a ‘calling’ that does not pertain to her in any way and it is everything she can do to reside in their house for the next few years. However, when the opportune moment presents itself, she will be precipitously hastening, suitcases in check, for the front door of her parents’ home.

As the daughter of a minister, it has involuntarily become her job to be an example to all the children in her church and a representation of her parents. Let her consider this to insinuate that she must obtain perfection. As you and I both know, for the humans, this is an accomplishment far from accessible. The harder she tries the further into a depression she will sink. However, when employing this method, she will either come to terms that she is in fact human and needs strength that is not her own, or she will pound her weary head against a wall in great frustration.

An aspect of the ministry that fits with this quite nicely is one that we can use multi-facetedly to our advantage. This is the constant stream of people who enter and exit her life in the blink of an eye. The first way to utilize this wonderful phenomenon is to convince her that she will never really have any true friends, but only acquaintances that come and go without a word. This will render her alone and helpless. Furthermore, you are fully capable of bringing her to relinquish all acts of kindness and any desire to be in fellowship with believers. When she realizes that people are almost disposable – only a temporary asset to the whole aspect of the work in which her parents are involved – she will entirely terminate any endeavor to serve or invest in other Christians. You must, of course, be sure to guard from her mind the obvious notion that the Enemy is always ready to support her should she request assistance. In her state of abandonment, bring again to her mind that this is her parents’ work. She is cemented to ‘her daddy’s church.’ She will not be permitted to attend neighboring churches. I caution you: tread lightly with this because she might be brought to the awareness of her role in her parents’ leadership in the church.

With this we arrive at the topic of obligatory service within the church. Because she is tethered to the toils of her family unit, she must be ‘above reproach’ and perform the ‘duties of servanthood’ whether she wishes to or not.  It is imperative that you are invariably accumulating in her brain thoughts such as the following: “I am never able to do anything because of all that stupid church stuff they keep telling me I am going to do.” If you cause her to believe that she is perpetually being volunteered to do things for which she has not offered consent, she will come, gradually, to detest the very heart of a servant which her parents are so earnestly striving to instill within her. Loathing the enemy’s work leads to despising the enemy Himself.

A final thing that may prove to be successful in your venture to steer this daughter of a minister off the path to the Enemy’s home above, is to point out in her everyday life the sacrifices her guardians make for the work of the enemy but do not make for her. Also point out all the time her father spends away from the house. Whether he is out of the country instructing and serving other believers, or out of town learning to better his skills as a ‘shepherd of the flock,’ that is time that he is not spending home bettering the life of his family. Plant in her mind the idea that he would rather look after the sheep in the church family than to his family. Reason that her father and mother have put their church ministry above the ministry of the family. Let her dwell on this until it drives her to a state of madness and despair. Let her suppose that she can strive to earn their attention. She will soon focus on this aspect of life and it will consume her. Once again, the short-term friends may come into play. Continually recalling that tactic will assist you in countless endeavors in this particular case.

In everything, remember that the further you are able to generate thoughts of isolation within her you may drive her to a state of mind in which ministry is a thing which results in fathers abandoning their families, views being imposed on others against their will, and a serious deficiency of friends. There is only desolation and hardship. Under no circumstances can you overlook the fact that if you push her to her very boundaries, you quite possibly risk losing her. Transporting her to the confines of herself could result in the realization that her strength is not, and never will be enough. If this happens, always recall the Lack of Allies tactic. I cannot express sufficiently the magnitude of this tactic. As always, I wish you well.

Your dearest acquaintance,

Klepto**

______________________________________________________________________________

*Akathartos is the Greek word for ‘unclean or impure’

**Klepto is the Greek word for ‘I steal’

For Mrs. Gorby


I love my writing class. Have I ever mentioned that? If not, shame on me.

Here’s what I am writing right now. It is kind of a spin off of C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters.

Dearest Akathartos,

I am overjoyed to hear about your first assignment. This will be a season in which to learn strategy and observe the behaviors of the things ‘made in the image of God.’ This is the first and most critical of all the council with which I will present you: do not, in any way, create disarray of your current situation. The first patient is always a learning experience. You will, numerous times, experience great blunders and suffer greatly for them. So long as you are completely aware of this and you are ready to take responsibility for your stupidity, I am fairly certain you will come out nearly unscathed. Your initial assignment is one that holds great possibilities. The sons and daughters of those in ministry have abounding amounts of potential, though one miniscule indiscretion on your part and they could be eternally rooted to the path of our foe.

Let us take a minute to discuss the prospects of the circumstance in which you presently find yourself. The human to whom you have been assigned is the daughter of two ministering people. She can easily be persuaded that her parents’ ministry is strictly that of her parents. They have been given a ‘calling’ that does not pertain to her in any way and it is everything she can do to reside in their house for the next few years. However, when the opportune moment presents itself, she will be precipitously hastening, suitcases in check, for the front door of her parents’ home.

These are only the first two paragraphs. I have more, I just don’t want to share them yet.

Let me know what you think… Comment away, please!

Because you wish you could be awesome like us.


I have a friend. (big surprise, huh?) She is a lovely soul.  We’ll call her Florence, because that’s a pretty name. Last night, she and I had a magical time… It involved tire swings, country girl boots, and skipping through a field holding hands in the dark… You all just wish you could bring such magicalities into being. As always, there was photo documentation, tho’ not as much as there usually is… We were too busy having fun and laughing till our bellies hurt.

 

Because I miss her…


… I get to obnoxiously post a bunch of pictures.

Dear Savannah,

These are a few of the good times we had… The times we had the most fun, we documented only in memory format. I love you. Why did you have to go? (Yes. I am purposefully trying to sound creepy.) Savannah, come back. “You can blame it all on me.”

Caution: By the end of this post, you will think I am much more strange than you already do.


I love school.

I love the writing.

I love the big books.

I love having to exercise my mind.

I love the fact that I know my teachers very well because they are the best and I have had them all for years and years. This year, I don’t have one teacher that I haven’t had before.

Out of four teachers, there is only one that I didn’t have in 5th, 6th, or 7th grade. It makes me a bit sad to think that this will be my last year at the homeschool co-op.

No more Mrs. Gorby teaching good writing habits

No more singing in Mrs. Sawyer’s choir

No more laughing at Mrs. Saville’s crazy antics

But alas, the chapter must come to a close. A new one must be drawn up.

New teachers

New antics

New perspectives

But only a renewed love of learning.

Some letters.


Dear California School Board,
Kids aren’t actually dumb… Instead of lowering the testing standards so more kids can pass, 
why don’t you raise the teaching standards so that kids actually learn?
After taking your standardized test I feel as tho’ my brain has fallen out of my ears…
Love,
Apparently smart.
 
Dear Virginia Homeschool moms,
You should write a state approved standardized test that makes us feel like education actually matters.
Love,
Nerd

Arsenic, Old lace, Cute old ladies, Friends, and Cameras


Last night I was given the honor of visiting some of my very best friends. I went to see rehearsals of the play that they are in. Arsenic and Old Lace. I met some new people. They are all hysterical and I think I will be trying out for a play sometime soon.

I took some pictures so I could remember how much fun I had. (surprised?)

Wanna see? You always do…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

These people have always been and continue to be, the best. I love them all.

Part of my weekend.


This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Quote of the weekend: A line is not a line unless it is straight.

Things I did:

I was…

  1. In charge of 20 kids.
  2. Team leader.
  3. Hanging out with over 30 people just like me
  4. Talking more than I ever do
  5. Yelling and cleaning
  6. Doing hand motions on a stage
  7. Throwing shaving cream pies at some one’s head.
  8. Apparently… bubbly
  9. Waking up at 6:00am on a Saturday.

Thank you everyone who made my weekend wonderful! I love you all!

Dear Internet Population.


Dear internet population/those of you who care.

I get to go away for the weekend! You know what that means? You guessed it! No blog posts for you!

I have the amazing privilege of volunteering at our very own Homeschool Convention. Sounds like a nerdfesst, huh? Well, I am a nerd. I am even going to wear my ‘nerd’ t-shirt tomorrow.

Anyways… There ain’t gonna be no posts from this here bloggity blog this weekend. Maybe on Sunday, I’ll give you some thoughts, but other than that… expect nothing. You could expect more than nothing, but you aren’t going to get anything. Too bad so sad for you.

And in this paragraph I’m supposed to talk about the weather.

Love,

Me, your favorite.