I keep meaning to post this and then I forget about it.
This is a list I sent to my friend Chase who was my ‘escort’ to the prom. (yes I am a bit old fashioned… But I am okay with that.)
Note: The following is an interview of necessary inquiries that must be posed to the Williamson paterfamilias and materfamilias concerning their progeny, Frederick Charles Williamson, as to what is and is not felicitous pertaining to the up and coming social phenomenon to which we refer as prom. Please note that responses to the following investigation will determine the course of action that Kathleen Elaine O’Neill may pursue in preparation for the aforementioned social phenomenon.
- What manner of raiment will Frederick Charles bestow upon himself? Ex. Tuxedo. Slacks, suit coat and tie. Overalls accented with corncob pipe, cowboy hat and garden galoshes.
- Would it be, as directed by authorities, permissible for Frederick Charles Williamson to accompany Kathleen Elaine O’Neill to dine, meaning to partake in a meal, prior to the said pretend social event? Locations encompass and are not limited to the following: Local restaurants, cafes, bistros, hotdog stands, dumpling shops, and the Myhre domicile. (Please note: All parties involved have taken into consideration the tender age of Master Frederick. Therefore, this inquiry is necessary to determine appropriate activities, behavior, and outings, considering the friendship of the two individuals involved.)
- Will the recognition of the tradition of gifting floral adornments be embraced? Ex. A completely masculine boutonnière to accent the lapel of one Master Frederick’s jacket or other such torso raiment. Please note: Kathleen O’Neill would prefer feminine floral adornments be worn on the lower extremity of her arm while still located above the hand.
- In regards to the matters of transportation and chaperoning the pre-event dining and transportation to and from the said social engagement. (This refers to the outing, not in any way to the precursor to matrimony.) Options of chaperone supervision include the following: _Kathleen’s paterfamilias and materfamilias, _both, Kathleen and Frederick’s paterfamilias and materfamilias, or the paterfamilias or materfamilias of both parties.
Answering this inquiry in a timely fashion will help both Kathleen Elaine O’Neill and the heads of her household to expedite preparations for this social phenomenon to which we may also refer as prom.
Note: Kathleen Elaine O’Neill is highly honored with the privilege of attending such a prestigious event with Master Frederick Charles Williamson. Her excitement is due to the fact that Master Frederick is capable of carrying on intelligent conversation, of fostering friendship, and of creating an atmosphere appropriate for laughter.
Yes, I agree. I am a big, fat, giant, enormous, nerd.
Hey, call a spade a spade. (I always call him that.)
I want your opinion…