I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying lately. Most are just general thoughts and prayers. Some are thankful. Others are full of questions. You know…

One of the big things I have realized is that at some point in the recent past, I stopped learning God. I stopped giving Him preeminence. I stopped just praising Him because no matter what happens He is still just as good… And just as there as He was before I walked a few steps away.

Also, another big thing: Fellowship is imperative.


Going it alone is flat out idiotically stupid.

On top of all that, I have spent time just rejoicing because He talks to me… I still think it’s a little crazy…

All of that inspired this:


Though man my hopes may fail to meet

Though life escapes my plans

My God stands firm

My God knows no defeat


Though my enemies I may fear

Though I run away

My God is stead fast

He will be forever near.


Those are just the first two stanzas… The rest is a work in progress.



These ears

They’re not blind

They smell the poverty around them.

They taste the hunger

And feel the need


These Eyes

Oh! These eyes have never been deaf

To that most distinct scent

Of hurt and loss

And hopelessness


My senses aren’t numb

To the world’s great lack

I possess awareness

Of what I have

And others don’t


More than anything, I long to be here:

I long with all my heart to be in all these places, but I know that more than all of that, I want to be where God wants me to be. I don’t know where I will end up, but I do know this.

I am to radiate, to reflect, to spread God’s beautiful light as He refines my heart.

Drilled into my head.

When the same verse pops up everywhere all the time, I can automatically say that God may be trying to drill something into my head.

Micah 6:8

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

This verse seems to be everywhere. The way I came across it seemed, to me at least, like a coincidence. But I guess there are no coincidences with God. I basically just opened up my Bible, and there it was. Highlighted and everything. I love when stuff like this happens. It’s exciting.

Who owns who?

My life is not my own
Never has been
Never will be
My life is not my own
I don’t wish it was
‘Cause His plans are better
My life is not my own
Why should it be
He saved me, after all
My life is not my own
I desire to make it God’s
Fully void without Him


Baptism is an outward sign of an inward change.

We have laid our lives down — Buried them in the grave. After we have been washed with the blood of Christ, we are made new.

“I have been crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.” Galatians 2:20






You alone, Oh Lord
Created these hands
Now I lift them in praise
To you, the only one worthy
You, my God
Are my constant peace
So now I lay before you
My struggling broken flesh
Come, Oh Lord
Make yourself known here
Now I will profess freely
The name that I so love
You were slain for my wrong
Yet, somehow I forgot
You persistently pursue me
Yet, I tend to run
Still you love me
Still I don’t understand

The (rough draft) finished version


Dearest Akathartos,*

I am overjoyed to hear about your first assignment. This will be a season in which to learn strategy and observe the behaviors of the things ‘made in the image of God.’ This is the first and most critical of all the council with which I will present you: do not, in any way, create disarray of your current situation. The first patient is always a learning experience. You will, numerous times, experience great blunders and suffer greatly for them. So long as you are completely aware of this and you are ready to take responsibility for your stupidity, I am fairly certain you will come out nearly unscathed. Your initial assignment is one that holds great possibilities. The sons and daughters of those in ministry have abounding amounts of potential, though one miniscule indiscretion on your part and they could be eternally rooted to the path of our foe.

Let us take a minute to discuss the prospects of the circumstance in which you presently find yourself. The human to whom you have been assigned is the daughter of two ministering people. She can easily be persuaded that her parents’ ministry is strictly that of her parents. They have been given a ‘calling’ that does not pertain to her in any way and it is everything she can do to reside in their house for the next few years. However, when the opportune moment presents itself, she will be precipitously hastening, suitcases in check, for the front door of her parents’ home.

As the daughter of a minister, it has involuntarily become her job to be an example to all the children in her church and a representation of her parents. Let her consider this to insinuate that she must obtain perfection. As you and I both know, for the humans, this is an accomplishment far from accessible. The harder she tries the further into a depression she will sink. However, when employing this method, she will either come to terms that she is in fact human and needs strength that is not her own, or she will pound her weary head against a wall in great frustration.

An aspect of the ministry that fits with this quite nicely is one that we can use multi-facetedly to our advantage. This is the constant stream of people who enter and exit her life in the blink of an eye. The first way to utilize this wonderful phenomenon is to convince her that she will never really have any true friends, but only acquaintances that come and go without a word. This will render her alone and helpless. Furthermore, you are fully capable of bringing her to relinquish all acts of kindness and any desire to be in fellowship with believers. When she realizes that people are almost disposable – only a temporary asset to the whole aspect of the work in which her parents are involved – she will entirely terminate any endeavor to serve or invest in other Christians. You must, of course, be sure to guard from her mind the obvious notion that the Enemy is always ready to support her should she request assistance. In her state of abandonment, bring again to her mind that this is her parents’ work. She is cemented to ‘her daddy’s church.’ She will not be permitted to attend neighboring churches. I caution you: tread lightly with this because she might be brought to the awareness of her role in her parents’ leadership in the church.

With this we arrive at the topic of obligatory service within the church. Because she is tethered to the toils of her family unit, she must be ‘above reproach’ and perform the ‘duties of servanthood’ whether she wishes to or not.  It is imperative that you are invariably accumulating in her brain thoughts such as the following: “I am never able to do anything because of all that stupid church stuff they keep telling me I am going to do.” If you cause her to believe that she is perpetually being volunteered to do things for which she has not offered consent, she will come, gradually, to detest the very heart of a servant which her parents are so earnestly striving to instill within her. Loathing the enemy’s work leads to despising the enemy Himself.

A final thing that may prove to be successful in your venture to steer this daughter of a minister off the path to the Enemy’s home above, is to point out in her everyday life the sacrifices her guardians make for the work of the enemy but do not make for her. Also point out all the time her father spends away from the house. Whether he is out of the country instructing and serving other believers, or out of town learning to better his skills as a ‘shepherd of the flock,’ that is time that he is not spending home bettering the life of his family. Plant in her mind the idea that he would rather look after the sheep in the church family than to his family. Reason that her father and mother have put their church ministry above the ministry of the family. Let her dwell on this until it drives her to a state of madness and despair. Let her suppose that she can strive to earn their attention. She will soon focus on this aspect of life and it will consume her. Once again, the short-term friends may come into play. Continually recalling that tactic will assist you in countless endeavors in this particular case.

In everything, remember that the further you are able to generate thoughts of isolation within her you may drive her to a state of mind in which ministry is a thing which results in fathers abandoning their families, views being imposed on others against their will, and a serious deficiency of friends. There is only desolation and hardship. Under no circumstances can you overlook the fact that if you push her to her very boundaries, you quite possibly risk losing her. Transporting her to the confines of herself could result in the realization that her strength is not, and never will be enough. If this happens, always recall the Lack of Allies tactic. I cannot express sufficiently the magnitude of this tactic. As always, I wish you well.

Your dearest acquaintance,



*Akathartos is the Greek word for ‘unclean or impure’

**Klepto is the Greek word for ‘I steal’

What the future holds.

Today I was reminded of the future as I was looking at the past. I was reminded of how



And even this: 

captured my heart and broke it simultaneously. I was reminded that my life is the mission field. My job is to reach out and love. I am to love those who are broken, those who are whole, those who love back, and those who hate in return.

My life holds the unknown, but what I already know is that I plan to use whatever I do to serve the one who saved me; to bring light to the darkness, and to show the lost that there is a way out of the gruesome maze of life. It’s not all hopelessness.

I plan to serve Jesus in whatever I do.





Sunday thoughts: My analyzation of Pastor Chris.

Being in Charleston means Coastal Community Church.

I really like the Pastor… He is a pretty funny guy…
You may become a P90X holy ghost filled fitness machine. — @pastorchris
July 17, 2011

He says cool stuff like that…

He likes to do series. Today he wrapped up a series called ‘At The Movies.’ It was all about exploring truths that we can find in our present culture.

Also, how many of your church services started with this?

Here is a list of things that I learned.

  1. Our past is never meant to overshadow our future.
  2. God is ALWAYS bigger than our circumstances.
  3. In Christ we have become new creations. In being new creations, we have also been given new identities.
  4. Through His strength, we can grow into and become what God has called us to be.
  5. God will make beauty of the messes we always tend to make.
  6. The only label that ever needs to matter to us is ‘Child of God’